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| December 19 2001 Wednesday A really bad day! Probably my worst ever. It started out so well too, because as soon as I got home from school I tried out the penis enlarger, and to my great joy my penis really did seem to get bigger. Then things started to go wrong, because when I made to remove it to measure the improvement in size I couldn't get the bloody thing off. No way, and I pulled at it so hard that I started to get excited and almost came my cocoa. I didn't fancy walking about with a penis enlarger dangling from my willy for the rest of my life, so, embarrassing as I knew it was likely to be, I decided to go to the local hospital to have it removed. Fortunately we live only about ten minutes walk from St Joseph's hospital. Unfortunately I couldn't get my trousers on over the penis enlarger. My answer to this problem, which I was later to regret, was to wear my mother's kilt under my overcoat and pretend I was Scottish - which I considered to be slightly better than not wearing anything under my overcoat at all. Anyway, I made it to the hospital and after waiting for about an hour in Accident and Emergency - I think I qualified as both - I was seen by seventeen doctors - one who did the actual doctoring, and sixteen who came to watch and snigger once they'd learned that the hospital's newest patient was a boy in a skirt with his dick stuck in a penis enlarger. What made it even worse was that half of them were women, one of who asked me if the penis enlarger worked, as her boyfriend was a bit lacking in the penis department, and that if it did she might get him one for Christmas. Anyway the doctor soon got it off, thanks to a jar of vaseline and a strong pair of wrists, and I thanked him and got out of there quick. But without my overcoat! I suppose I was so relieved to get the penis enlarger off my dick that I forgot all about it. Then, when I was in sight of home, who should screech to a halt in his car but my father, on his way home from the airport! And there was I, dressed in my mother's kilt, carrying a penis enlarger. Thinking quickly, I threw the penis enlarger into someone's garden and started jumping up and down, and when my father asked me what the bloody hell I thought I was doing I said the Highland Fling. He said the sooner I see the psychiatrist the better. |