December 22 2001
Saturday
My sister Madeline and her husband Clive and Harry Potter have arrived for Christmas.
Clive is a quantitiy surveyor.
His profession must come in handy when he's looking at our Madeline, who is now a bigger
quantity than when he married her by about four stones.
Why is it that women always put on weight as soon as they're married? I would make it a
law that all wives have
to be weighed every wedding anniversary, and if they're over the weight that they were when they got
married
their husband could turn them in for a new one. The only wives who don't
seem
to put on weight are ones who are in girl bands, so it has only strengthened my resolve
to marry an Atomic Kitten. After tea me and Clive talked
about football and James Bond films. His favourite is 'Live And Let Die', which is also
my favourite. Clive is all right, and it is quite obvious that it wasn't him, but my sister, who was responsible for
giving Harry Potter the name Harry Potter.
It must be something in the Mole genes which makes them saddle
their offspring with embarrassing names. Thank Christ I'm not a woman because
if I married somebody called
Lecter I'd be sure to want to call our son Hannibal.
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