|
|
|
|
|
| December 26 2001 Wednesday Caught up with my e-mails, of which I've been getting a lot just lately. Many of them were suggestions for the second verse of my rap song. I particularly like Marc Chesworth's 'Demi Moore, what a bore, flamethrower, no more'. I also liked Chris Haynes's suggestion - I never realised there were seventeen words that rhymed with tampax, and I bet Ruby Wax didn't either. Keep them coming. I've also had mail suggesting how I might get to go to Ibiza instead of Brain Missing. Thanks Jason Toon of Toxteth for your idea, but I don't think it's really practical - if you didn't know otherwisw you would think that the job of the police round here is solely to harrass motorists, but I feel that even they wouldn't turn a blind eye to an assassination. Tom Goodhand of Epping Forest has suggested that I shouldn't be trying to take Brain Missing's place on the holiday at all, but should simply go along as well, hidden in one of the suitcases. He says that if I'm discovered at the baggage check-in all I have to do is explain to them that I'm an Arab terrorist, because they seem to have no trouble getting through at all. On a slightly different subject Terry Deighton of Derby wants to know if Brain Damage has sandpapered any other girls' tits apart from Brain Missing's, as his new girlfriend has hardly any nipples at all. Well we don't live too far from Derby, Terry, so it could well be that it is the handiwork of Brain Damage. If you don't like your girlfriend not having any nipples on her tits try superglueing a couple of red Smarties to them - not only will this improve the appearance of her tits but they'll taste nicer too. |