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| January 25 2002 Friday Went to meet Nigella. I arrived at the school bikesheds just before eight. The place was deserted, just as I thought it would be. I also thought that at any moment the sender of the e-mail would jump out from somewhere and start laughing at me. One of my schoolmates probably, because it's definitely the sort of thing that some of them would do. Then he'd start taking the piss out of me for daring to believe that a doll like Nigella Lawson would have any time at all for somebody like me. But no. There was nothing. Just me, in the quiet of the bikesheds. Eight-o-clock came and went, and I was about to leave when suddenly I heard this voice behind me: 'Adrian?' I turned. It was her. Nigella. I caught my breath. She looked absolutely gorgeous. That long black hair.That peach-like skin. Those full red lips. And the fact that she still had her cooking pinny on made her look even more sexy, not less. 'You are Adrian, are you?' she said. I nodded, unable to speak. She beckoned me to join her. I went to her, still in a daze. Close up she was even more beautiful. 'I want us to have sex, Adrian' she said. 'Now'. 'Here', I said. 'Yes', she said. 'Especially here. You see the very first time I had sex it was in the school bikesheds. It was wonderful, and I want to re-live that experience. I was fourteen at the time, and the boy was quite a bit older, a sixth former. Fortunately he'd had experience with an older woman. She had obviously taught him a thing or two, and I benefitted from her tutelage for he was a wonderful lover. In fact it was due to our lovemaking that night that I got my idea for upside down cake. But I am sure, dear Adrian, that you will be his equal. Come. Take me'. With that she took hold of her pinny at the bottom and pulled it up. She was naked underneath! I reached out to her. Then I woke up. It was all a dream! I might have known it was too good to be true. I can't tell you how sick I was. I was sicker than a Sumo wrestlers arse wiper when his boss has got diarrohea. But at least she didn't turn into Charlotte Church. Wet the bed. |
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