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| November 1 2001 Thursday When I got home from school today my mother was still out so I watched my 'Ibiza Uncovered and Uncut' tape. Cool. Then I cleaned out my father's rabbit hutch. The smell wasn't any better. According to my father cleaning out the rabbit hutch is one of the things that will 'make a man of me'. It won't. The most it can hope to achieve is to make me into an expert rabbit hutch cleaner, but as that is unlikely to be my chosen career path it's a complete waste of time, but try telling my father that. Doing the garden and cleaning the car are other things I have to do that will 'make a man of me'. Apparently no pleasant things, such as chilling out with my mates or going to the pictures, will make a man of me. I suspect that even if the picture I wanted to see was called 'How to make a man of yourself' it wouldn't 'make a man of me' in my father's eyes. Especially if it was rabbit hutch cleaning time. Exactly how cleaning rabbit hutches is going to make a man of me my father has never told me. Nor has he ever explained to me, if he knows so much about things that will make a man of me, why he didn't make a man of himself while he was about it, so that he might not have ended up doing a woman's job - but perhaps he's waiting for the right time to tell me, like when I've had a lobotomy. After I'd had my tea I started planning my campaign to stop girls covering their bums by tieing their cardies round their waists. What a load of old bollocks that is! How are you supposed to look at a girl's bottom if she's got a cardie wrapped round it? The craze probably started because it dawned on some girl or other that it was a handy place to keep her cardie in case the weather turned cold, but now it's become part of their uniform and they'd even have a cardie tied round their waists if we were in the middle of a bloody heatwave. You even get some bits of stuff who have a cardie tied round their waist wearing a cardie as well, for Christ's sake! Anyway I've decided that the best way to stop them is to start a new fashion they can copy, so that they'll forget all about this cardie tieing rubbish. I think wearing a pair of their knickers on their head would be a good fashion, especially if they were the knickers from where they should be wearing knickers, so I'm going to get one of the girls at school to start it off. If the campaign is succesful I'm going to mount one to get rid of the thong as well, because I'm not keen on them either. They might get rid of visible pantie line but lads like to see a bit of v.p.l. showing through on a shapely bottom! I was left in on my own tonight, which suits me fine. My father is away. He was doing North America last week, so there was a chance that he might disappear in the Bermuda Triangle, but he's doing the Mediterranean this week. Pity there isn't a Majorca Triangle he could disappear into. My mother has gone to one of her clubs. I don't know which one, she doesn't last in them no time, because before very long she books the Chairperson or some influential committee member for parking on a double yellow line. Naturally enough this doesn't go down very well with them, and she soon begins to get the cold shoulder from everyone and leaves. |