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| November 7 2001 Wednesday The postman called today. He showed my father a letter he'd had from Mensa. The letter said that the postman had an I.Q. of 124. Then he said that he wouldn't be delivering any more mail to our house until my father had apologised to him for calling him an idiot. I asked my mother if we could go to Ibiza for our holidays this year. She said no because we've already been to Minorca, and that one Balearic Island is much the same as another. She must be joking! All there is on Minorca are fat Germans and donkeys with straw hats on, whereas Ibiza is Shag City. Believe it or not I have had no joy whatsoever in getting a girl to wear her knickers on her head! The only volunteer was Ugly Ursula Hindley and I declined her offer on the grounds that if she wore her knickers on her head, rather than encourage other girls to do the same it would put them off the idea. Stinking Higginbottom told Ugly Ursula that it might be a good idea if she wore her knickers over her head, and she started crying. Girls! |