Chinos

     Torkington Park is in the Hazel Grove area of Stockport, one of the few parts of Stockport with pretensions to class, graffiti still abounding on shop shutters and council house gable ends but usually being spelled correctly. As Bond entered the car park he saw that a gang of workmen were providing an extra canvas for the graffiti artists of Stockport in the shape of a large fence. Made up of pillars of wood of telegraph pole proportions stood on end, it already surrounded two sides of the bowling green and the workmen were well on their way to adding a third side. The purpose of the fence, if not already clear, was spelt out by a large notice on one of the walls: ‘Private Property – Keep Out!’, and a similar sized notice: ‘Loose Guard Dogs!’
    Whether the second of the notices meant that the guard dogs in question would be running free within the compound, or that they were tied up but had diarrhoea, was not made clear, but either of these possibilities presented a terrifying prospect for any would be trespasser.
     Bond saw that Dr Goldnojaws, BloJob, and a dowdy-looking woman he guessed to be aged around fifty, had already arrived when he appeared from behind one of the wooden walls of Fort Torkington Park and onto the bowling green.
     “Just in time, Mr Band, said Goldnojaws, tapping his watch meaningfully, as he spotted Bond.
     “But on time,” Bond shot back coolly, conveying to the dwarf that he was not a man who was easily intimidated by people tapping their watches.
     Crown green bowlers do not affect the white trousers, shirt and hats compulsory to the flat green game, an advantage that is one of its many pleasures. Whatever you feel comfortable in is fine. The odd person has been known to play in jacket and tie but such a person is regarded as an eccentric. Goldnojaws however, without going the whole hog, had chosen to disregard the casual attitude to dress permitted by the crown green game and had made an attempt to look smart, attiring himself in a matching grey flat hat, sweater and slacks. The attempt had failed completely, and only drew attention to himself and consequentially his lack of height, indeed a distant observer could have mistaken him for a mushroom. BloJob was dressed in exactly the same clothes as she had been on both other occasions Bond had seen her, and noticing this Bond made a mental note not to stray downwind of her if at all possible. The older woman was dressed in Stockport drab. Bond had enquired of the man at Premier Bowls as to what was suitable dress for crown green bowls, and had been advised to put on whatever came out of the wardrobe first, unless it were jeans, jeans being regarded as over-dressing in crown green circles, especially if they were designer jeans. Consequently he had chosen a navy blue baseball cap, navy blue sweater and Chinos.