Twyfords Rampart

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

     The gents' toilet at the Facade factory was in the reception area and, as with his initial visit, Bond called in there for a pee before presenting himself to Dr Goldnojaws. As he was relieving himself he noted that the lavatory was a Twyfords Rampart. On his previous visit he’d used another of the three stalls, where the lavatory had been an Armitage Shanks.
     Since he’d started having trouble with his prostate gland Bond had become something of an authority on the subject of lavatories, having had to use them as often as he had, and could now identify in excess of forty different designs and systems, along with their manufacturer, although the pleasure of encountering an example of the first water closet to be manufactured in any quantity, the Thomas Crapper, still awaited him; In fact if Bond were to go on Mastermind he could have taken lavatories as his specialist subject, James Bond, three minutes on the lavatory, your time starts now.
     A couple of minutes later he was with Goldnojaws secretary. “I’d like to see Dr Goldnojaws, if I may?”
     “I’m afraid he isn’t in at the moment. Was the doctor expecting you?
     “I have a cheque for him.”
     “If you could let me have it I’ll make sure he gets it,” said the secretary, all efficiency and rimless spectacles.
     That option may well have been good for efficiency but it was of no use to Bond at all. He needed to get into Goldnojaws’ office for a good look round, another look at the large wall map of Stockport his main priority. In fact Goldnojaws being out would be an advantage; if he could spend some time alone in the office that would be even better.
     “Why don’t I just leave the cheque on his desk?” said Bond, smoothly, taking the cheque from the inside pocket of the suit especially made for him by Jenkins of Savile Row, and making for Goldnojaws’ office door.
     The secretary jumped up immediately and barred his way. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Not even I am allowed in Dr Goldnojaws office on my own.”
     With his unrivalled knowledge of the body’s pressure points Bond could have rendered the secretary unconscious for the next half hour in the bat of an eyelid but such a course of action might draw attention to himself. So he merely contented himself by saying: “In that case I will wait for Dr Goldnojaws to return.”