Switzerland

     If that was the punch line Bond didn’t get it. He frowned. “And your old lady too?”
     “Yes. But you say it quickly, and sort of sing it, so it sounds like you’re yodelling.” Q cupped a hand to his mouth. ‘And you’re old lay dee tooooo’. Brilliant, isn’t it."
     The brilliance or otherwise of it was not Bond’s concern. “Well it’s not bad I suppose,” he said grudgingly. “Certainly better than the cricket witticisms. But aren’t you forgetting something?”
     “James?”
     “My assignment is in Stockport, not Switzerland. And while there’s an excellent chance of my encountering say a Swiss pen-knife or a Swiss cheese plant or even a Swiss roll in Stockport I think there’s very little chance of my encountering a Swiss beauty with a beautiful thirty-six-year old mother."
     Q's brow furrowed. ”Yes, I hadn’t thought of that.” He came to a decision. “I’ll get him to work on it then. In the meantime I’ve got this for you.” He held out a piece of transparent plastic, about four inches long and maybe half an inch wide, rather like a piece of flexible plastic piping cut in half.
     “What is it?” Bond said, at once intrigued.
     “A stiff upper lip,” said Q, with some pride.
     “A stiff upper lip?”
     “Yes, you clip it over your own lip whenever you’re in a very tight corner and need plenty of resolve. Like so.“ He clipped the plastic onto his upper lip. “As its name implies it keeps the upper lip quite stiff.”
     Bond pointed out the obvious. “Q, as a British Secret Agent I already have a stiff upper lip.”
     Q smiled conspirationally. “Not like this one Double-O-Seven. This one is rather special if I may say so.“ He unhooked the plastic from his lip and held it out in the palm of his hand so Bond could take a close look at it. “No ordinary plastic, this. Plastic explosive.”
     “Plastic explosive?”
     “Yes. The idea is that when you’re about to fall into enemy hands, with all the concomitant nasty things that such an occurrence entails, you simply bite on your stiff upper lip and……poof!”
     “I turn into a homosexual?””
     “No, poof, the thing explodes. Bang! Much better than a cyanide pill I’m sure you’ll agree.”