Coffee

     To his great credit Bond felt genuinely sorry for Dr Goldnojaws. But only for a second. That was all it took to remind himself that he was dealing here with a man who had set his heart on dominating Stockport. He said: “That must have been really awful for you, Dr Goldnojaws.”
     “Almost as bad as when I realised I would never be able to achieve my ambition.” The inflexion of Goldnojaws’ voice invited a response. Bond complied, anxious for Goldnojaws to carry on holding court. He obliged. “To be a policeman.”
    Only great resolve and even greater balance kept Bond from falling off his chair. An even greater show of resolve was needed to keep a straight face, as Goldnojaws continued. “It was the only thing I ever wanted to be as a boy. But it was denied me by an accident of birth, of nature, cruel nature.” His face took on a sudden intensity. “I would have made a very good policeman too, Mr Band. A top policeman. I could have been Goldnojaws of the Yard.”
     Bond very much doubted it as Goldnojaws wasn’t even a yard of Goldnojaws, but refrained from pointing this out. Instead he said: “I’m sure you could.”
     The explanation of Goldnojaws’ lust for power now became quite clear to Bond. It was similar to the poacher turned gamekeeper syndrome except that in this case it was gamekeeper turned poacher; rejected by the police he had joined ranks with the other side and become a criminal.
     At that moment Goldnojaws’ phone rang. He picked it up, listened for a moment or two then started to give a list of instructions in a crisp, commanding voice to whoever was on the other end of the line. Before replacing the phone he turned to Bond. “Coffee, Mr Bond?”
     “I’d love one. Cream please. Shaken not s….” Bond just about managed to stop himself from completing the familiar phrase “.….sugared,” he said, hoping that his foolish lapse hadn’t blown his cover.
     Goldnojaws however seemed not to have heard anything untoward. “Tell BloJob we would like coffee. One black, one with cream, shaken not sugared.”