Dear Air France

11 LonglandsRd New Mills STOCKPORT Cheshire SK12 3BL 16th April 1994 Cathleen Acham Customer Relations Department 100 Hammersmith Road LONDON W6 7JP     Dear Cathleen Acham     Thankyou for your letter of 12th April. Actually. In the time between my sending my letter and receiving your reply there has been a development, and consequently I will not be able to reveal to Air France the name of the bounder who keeps duping your airline. This is because I had an altercation with him at the golf club - he was trying to cheat by dropping his balls in the rough - and I ended up telling him of my intention to denounce him to you. Unfortunately I wasn't aware that the man in question knew about the 'arrangement' I have with the barmaid at the golf club, and he threatened that if I blew the whistle reference the broken leg incident he would tell my wife about my little indiscretion, (Sadly English wives aren't as understanding of a man's needs as French wives, more's the pity, and if my wife ever found out about 'mon affaire' my life wouldn't be worth living. However, the whole business got me thinking, and it occurred to me that other passengers may also be getting preferential treatment by pretending that they have broken legs. The more I think about it the more likely it seems - certainly it seems that every time I pass through an airport departure lounge I see at least a couple broken legs, a far higher proportion than I see if I go anywhere else - and they can't all be ski-ing accidents as I see as many broken legs departing the country as I do arriving in it. I therefore have a proposition which I would like to put to you, since I am sure that you will wish to stamp out this sorry business. On receiving a request for preferential treatment due to a broken leg, Air France will pass on to me the name of the applicant. I will then pay the man a visit. If he does have a broken leg, all well and good, but if he doesn't I will do one of two things, depending upon how seriously you at Air France view the matter. I will either:- (a) Tell him that his little game is up, or (b) Break his leg. I would charge a nominal fee of £10 per passenger for this service, plus expenses. I await your reply with interest. Yours faithfully T Ravenscroft (Mr)