Dear Egyptair

11 LonglandsRd New Mills STOCKPORT Cheshire SK12 3BL 3rd May 1994 Egyptair Walmar House 296 Regent Street LONDON W1R 6PH     Dear Egyptair     Congratulations!I am delighted to inform you that your airline has won the inaugural New Mills Airline Passenger Club Award. The contest was a particularly exciting and close-run thing this year. Right up until the last minute it was between Egyptair and Air 2000, the latter receiving very high marks for its lasagne from me, but very low marks for its lasagne from everyone else, thus tipping the balance in your favour. A very close third was Air UK for its stewardesses' uniforms. What finally swayed the judges in your favour was an incident which happened on a flight with Egyptair from London to Cairo. Apparently the ten-year-old son of a New Mills Airline Passenger Club member was slapped quite viciously round the face by one of your stewardesses, whilst he was having a tantrum, with the result that the child thoroughly behaved himself for the remainder of the flight, and well into the holiday. Although I say 'whilst he was having a tantrum', it isn't exactly clear whether the stewardess (It was the one with the moustache by the way) slapped the boy round the face to bring him out of his tantrum, or caused him to have a tantrum by slapping him round the face. However it doesn't really matter either way, because according to the father of the boy, who can be a bit of a swine to say the least, the brat deserved a slap round the face whether he was having a tantrum or not. The award, which does not carry any financial reward, consists of a trophy depicting a scale model Boeing 767 airliner in the Egyptair livery, touching down on a life-size concrete model of a piece of lost luggage, with a plaque inscribed 'Egyptair - Airline of the Year 1993'. And most elegant it is too. Will you please therefore advise me what do with this prestigious trophy, regarding delivery to you? Yours faithfully T Ravenscroft (Mr) Hon Sec New Mills Airline Passenger Club