Dear Qantas Airway

11 LonglandsRd New Mills STOCKPORT Cheshire SK12 3BL 24th May 1994 Michael Foreman Qantas Airways Ltd 395/403 King Street London W6 9NJ     Dear Mr Foreman     Thankyou for your letter of 23rd May. There is only one thing wrong with the Qantas tenet of trying to control the amount of alcohol consumed by its passengers, and that is that the alcohol it serves, leastwise as far as wine is concerned, is Australian. Believe me Mr Foreman, you would be far more likely to provoke anti-social behaviour from me were you to serve me a single glass of Australian wine than if I were to drink a whole bottle of decent wine. Consequently I will be bringing my own. I must however thank you for inadvertently giving me an idea. You are probably not aware of my earlier correspondence with Qantas, in which I expressed my fear that whilst we are in Australia our baby might be eaten by a dingo. It has now occurred to me that I can make our baby dingo-proof, as it were, by getting him to drink some Australian wine, thus making him much less palatable. I have tested out this theory on our Labrador, mixing some Barossa Valley Shiraz in with his Pal, with the result that he wouldn't go anywhere near it, so if dingoes are anything like our Labrador a dingo wouldn't touch our baby with a bargepole once I've got a bottle of Australian red inside him. I don't suppose there are any laws in Australia governing the amount of wine a baby is allowed to consume, are there? Yours sincerely T Ravenscroft (Mr)