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11 LonglandsRd
New
Mills
STOCKPORT
Cheshire
SK12
3BL
31st May 1994 |
Lysette
Morris
Inflight Entertainment Executive
Virgin
Atlantic Airways Ltd
2nd Floor
Griffin
House
High Street
Crawley
West
Sussex
RH10 1DQ
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Dear Lysette
Morris
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Thank you
for your letter of 26th May. I have already written to Lord Richard Branson
about the dilatory way his company is run, so he will no doubt be making a few
staff changes. I would suggest that if you don't jettison your prejudices and
adopt a more enlightened film buying policy, and generally pull your socks up,
that it will be in the post of Inflight Entertainment Executive that one of the
first changes will be made.
To compare the boring if worthy
'Philadelphia' with the benchmark films which the New Mills Players are turning
out is an insult to a dedicated and very talented group of thespians. Granted
Tom Hanks wasn't bad in the role of the brown hatter with Aids, but his
performance pales into insignificance when compared to that of our vicar, in a
similar role, in the New Mills Players forthcoming Anglo-Indian epic 'Bite My
Pilau' . Although it must be conceded that as the vicar isn't exactly averse to
rogering the odd choirboy or three he isn't exactly
acting.
Furthermore our films are not, as you try to claim,
expensive. You are failing to take into account the fact that the price gives
you exclusive 'in the air' rights. This can only lead to an increase in
passengers, once the word gets around that the only place you can see these
magnificent films is on a Virgin Atlantic
aeroplane.
However, an as an inducement, I am able to offer
you any two of 'Lady Don't Look Backwards', Hitler's List', 'One Flew Into The
Towering Inferno' or Bite My Pilau' for the bargain price of £8000. I
will also throw in a product placement of a jar of Branson's Pickles in 'Bite
My Pilau', on the table of an Indian restaurant on which the vicar is making
love to his friend Ravi Shankhim.
If you take me up on this
offer it could well save you your job.
Yours
sincerely
T Ravenscroft (Mr) |
Copy to - Sir Richard Branson |
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