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H J Heinz Co Ltd
Hayes
Middlesex
UB4 8
Dear H J Heinz
I am afraid that I have a rather serious complaint to make
about your Thomas The Tank Engine And Friends Pasta Shapes.
Yesterday I opened a can of the said concoction for my youngest's
lunch. On giving it to him he immediately went a bright shade
of red and started screaming. Then, and completely without warning,
he hurled the entire contents of the bowl at the kitchen wall.
I would respectfully point out that on the can it clearly
states that the pasta shapes contained within include,
amongst others, Thomas The Tank Engine, Harold The Helicopter,
Trevor The Tractor and The Fat Controller. My complaint, and
the reason for my two-year-old's eccentric behaviour,
is that the can didn't contain so much as a single Fat Controller, which happens to be young Oscar's
favourite. (He likes to bite his head off)
You can take the can's lack of Fat Controllers as gospel, as I had to remove every one of the
sixty five pasta pieces from the kitchen wall.
For what it's worth,
I counted twenty two Thomas The Tank Engines, eleven Harold
The Helicopters, seven Trevor The Tractors, ten Bertie The
Buses, nine unspecified items which slightly resembled bridges
or signal boxes, and six unspecified items which were
unidentifiable but certainly weren't the Fat Controller,
at least not unless Thomas The Tank Engine had just run over him.
From the time I placed the bowl of Thomas The Tank Engine
And Friends Pasta Shapes in front of young Oscar until the time
I had restored the kitchen floor to its former pristine
condition, including settling down Oscar and cleaning the
kitchen wall, took up an hour of my very valuable time.
This was completely due to your negligence and I would
like to know what you intend to do about it?
Yours faithfully  |
