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McDonalds Restaurants Ltd
42 Wellington Road
Stockport
Cheshire
Dear McDonalds
I recently wrote to your Customer Services Department
in praise of your product - I am a recently converted fan -
and also to enquire about your party facilities. They
recommended that I contact my local McDonalds, which
is your good selves, hence this letter. It is my father's eightieth
on the 4th June and I would like you to organise a party
for him and his friends (All male and all in their seventies
or early eighties). The only special requirements I can think
of is that two of the old gentlemen are vegetarians and three of
them don't have the advantage of teeth. However as Big Macs are quite succulent I
don't think the lack of molars will pose any problems, and if you
leave the burger out of a couple of Big Macs and add a bit more
lettuce that should more than satisfy the veggies. Unless you can offer
a vegetarian alternative of course? The only other problem is that
one of the vegetarians is allergic to plastic, so he will require
conventional cutlery and a different chair to the type you normally provide,
if that can be arranged.
That just leaves the question of the Strippergram, which my father
is insisting on. Can McDonalds arrange this or do you want me to
do it? The old rascal would prefer a blonde policewoman.
Please send sample menus and prices forthwith. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully 
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