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Gary Johnston
Pork Farms Bowyers
Queens Drive
Nottingham
East Midlands
NG2 1LU
Dear Gary Johnston
Thank you for your letter of 14th April and the vouchers, although I really do wish you
hadn't put
the idea into my head of feeding your pork pies to our horse. The thing is, with the
vouchers I bought eight pork pies, ate one of them myself - delicious, as usual - and
fed the other seven to the horse. The following day it dropped dead. The vet said
it could very well have been the pork
pies that caused the horse to go into the violent spasms that led to it
having a heart attack, and that I was 'bloody stupid'. I must say his reasoning that
eating seven pork pies can cause a heart attack is totally beyond me - I've eaten
four of them many a time and the horse was twice as big as me, so if you ask me it is the vet
who is bloody stupid! Anyway I thought I'd better mention it to you so that you won't
advise anybody else to feed pork pies to their racehorses.
On a more pleasurable note, having now owned a racehorse, my friends and I have really
got the horseracing bug, so we're going to buy another one. I have checked with
Tattersall's and it seems that there already is a horse called Pork Pies.
(So great minds do think alike!) So we have decided to call our new horse
Not As Good As Pork Farm Pork Pies, which will fulfil the dual purpose of
giving your firm a bit of a leg up, whilst not using your brand name.
Would this be acceptable to you?
Yours faithfully 
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