"I gather that in previous seasons the police presence at your home games has been of a somewhat sketchy nature, to say the least," said Superintendent Screwer, making no attempt to keep his disapproval of this previous laxness out of his voice.
    "Well we have the stewards, of course," George pointed out.
    The Frogley Town secretary had agreed to meet the new chief of the Frogley police to discuss, in Screwer's words, 'Some pressing matters of vital importance, quite possibly to life and limb', and Screwer's comment about how things had been run in the past had been his opening salvo.
     The police chief continued, the disapproval in his voice now replaced with disdain. "Professional people are they, these stewards?"
    "Well we pay them," said George. "Ten pounds facing the pitch, twelve pounds facing away from the pitch." Then he added, smiling at the irony, "Although there are some who say it should be the other way round."
    "I think you'll find that those facing away from the pitch will spend half their time doing what they should be doing, half their time sneaking looks over their shoulders to catch covert glimpses of the game, and half the time scratching their arses," said Screwer, in his very best voice of experience voice.
    George considered for a moment whether it would be worthwhile telling Screwer that he'd used three halves and that football was a game of two halves, as most football managers were wont to remind us on a regular basis, but as he didn't want to prolong the interview any longer than necessary he thought better of it; it would be going on for quite long enough judging by the length of the list of items to be discussed that the chief of police was now consulting.