His opinions on the value or otherwise of stewards having been aired, Screwer continued to work his way down the list.
     "How many surveillance cameras have you got?"
    "We don't have any," said George.
    Screwer's head jolted back as though he had just received one of Mike Tyson's best. He almost choked: "No surveillance cameras! Why?"
    "Well we don't need them," answered George, matter-of-factly.
    Screwer's head shot back again. Not as far this time, because as it was already back from the previous occasion it didn't have very much farther to go before it collided with the wall behind him, which it did with a thud.
    "Shit!"
    George commiserated with him. "Sorry, we're a bit cramped for office space, as you can see."
    Screwer straightened his cap then glared at George. "What do you mean you don't need them?"
    "Well it would just be a waste of money," explained George. "As we never have any trouble at Frogley Town."
    If George had left it there he might have escaped the next five minutes. But he didn't. He followed it up with: "In fact I can't ever remember seeing a football hooligan at Frogley."
    So for the next three hundred seconds he was treated to Screwer's views on football hooliganism and exactly what he intended to do about it. To his wife later that day George likened the experience to being the paint on a door which had just had a blowlamp turned on it. Certainly he was left in no doubt whatsoever as to Screwer's feelings on the subject.
    When the police chief had ensured himself that George had got the message he carried on: "Eight surveillance cameras represent an absolute minimum requirement. One each centrally positioned at each side of the ground. One each mounted on the floodlight towers, above the gun turrets."
    George suddenly started to get alarmed. "Gun turrets?"
    Screwer enlarged. "For the police marksmen."
    George made another attempt at marking Screwer's card. "Superintendent there really isn't any need for this. This is Frogley, not Colombo. The north west of England not the North West Frontier. We are an insignificant little team in the Coca-Cola League Two. Just. And, like I said, we don't have any football hooligans."