In his office Donny Donnelly, wearing only a thong, was lying on his sunbed topping up his tan. Prominent on the wall of the office that faced the door were two large framed photographs, a spotlight playing on each of them, so that any visitor to Donny's inner sanctum could not possibly miss them. One of the photographs was of Ron Atkinson, who was Donny's hero. The other was of Ron and Donny together, Ron with a friendly arm around Donny's shoulder. It was signed, 'To my mate Donny, Big Ron.' Money could not have bought it. Apart from their respective heights, Ron being about six two and Donny being nearer five two, they were quite similar, both in build and features. Both of them had pudgy bodies and fat faces sporting a Mediterranean tan, and both had blonde hair worn combed over the top of their head in the manner favoured by Bobby Charlton when he had some to favour. However if one were to look closely at the photo one would see that while Ron was naturally blonde Donny was blonde courtesy of a bottle of peroxide, his black roots giving him away. Furthermore Donny had plenty of hair and, unlike Ron, didn't really need to comb it over the top of his head in a vain attempt to camouflage a balding pate.
    His thirty minutes up, Donny swung his legs off the sunbed, got to his feet, and went to the mirror to check his tan. It was just right, midway between light and George Hamilton. Pleased, he went to the window to check on his squad. As he looked out at them one of the players, Higgs, a man short in stature and even shorter in talent, was about to take a throw in near the corner flag, and about ten players were jockeying for position in the penalty area. Donny nodded with approval. He had recently spent a lot of time coaching Higgs in the art of the long throw-in and now the player was putting his newly aquired skill into practise.
    Higgs threw the ball in. Its trajectory was all wrong, much too high, and the ball landed well short of the jostling players. Donny groaned, opened the window and shouted out. "Higgsy"!
    Higgs looked over to the portakabin. "Boss?"
    "Arch your back more." Donny demonstrated the required technique, bending backwards from the hips. "To give yourself more leverage."