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COUNTDOWN WITH RON ATKINSON

THE COUNTDOWN STUDIO. THE URBANE DES O'CONNOR AND THE UBIQUITOUS CAROL VORDERMAN ARE IN THEIR USUAL PLACES, ALONG WITH RON ATKINSON. DES: And now for a little light diversion from the normal Countdown fare. A special game show for our special guest for the week, Ron Atkinson. Consonant please, Carol. CAROL: N. DES: Consonant. CAROL: G. DES: Another consonant. CAROL: R. DES: Vowel. CAROL: I. DES: I’ll try another vowel please. CAROL: And that one is E. DES: And a final consonant. CAROL: And we complete the word with another G. So that’s NGRIEG. RON: That’s only seven letters. DES: Six actually Ron. Now all you have to do is arrange them into a well-known word - at least well-known to you. And it isn’t Ginger. And your time starts…..now! RON: Er…Greign? Is there such a word as Greign? DES: No. RON: Ignerg? DES: No. I’ll give you a clue, Ron. It starts with an N. RON: Nergig? DES: No. It starts N I G. RON: Nigreg? DES: No. RON: No? Sorry then, no idea, so it looks like its early doors for me then. CAROL: Oh I’m sure you can get it if you try, Ron. DES: It starts N I G G E. You’ve only got one letter to put in. RON: Sorry. No idea. DES: Say the word, Ron. RON: No. CAROL: Say it Ron. RON: Look fellas I’ve only just managed to worm my way back onto mainstream television, give me a fucking break will….give me a flipping break will you. DES: Say it Ron. RON: No. CAROL: Say it – and I promise not to appear on any other television programmes apart from Countdown ever again. RON: Not even for that. DES: Say it Ron, or we won’t ever invite you back. RON: Er……er ……Ashley Cole. DES: What? RON: Well he’s a nigger, isn’t he……shit!