Gigantic Tomatoes! Grow tomatoes up to 30 inches in diameter. You can grow our unbeatable tomatoes with a minimum of care but with a maximum amount of manure. Our seeds produce gigantic tomatoes 30 inches across. 'Pick one of these off the trusses without help and you may very well be in need of a truss yourself!' B.M. Birmingham

World's Largest Bell Peppers! Up to seven feet long and three feet wide. Just one of our peppers stuffed with your favourite filling will easily feed a family of four for a month, or stuffed with your family saves you having to feed a family of four ever again. 'I couldn't get the darn thing out of my greenhouse so we had to eat it in there. Three weeks later we were still eating it!' F.F. Sunderland

Enormous Courgettes! Guaranteed the biggest courgette you've ever seen . Six feet long by two feet wide our courgette is both big and full of flavour. Cut into halves and dried in the sun it makes an excellent sarcophagus. 'I buried my mother in one and saved on the cost of her funeral considerably'. J.G. Manchester

Massive Leeks! Our leeks reach three feet in diameter and grow to a height of up to twenty feet. More like trees in size, our leeks are both tasty and excellent for training lumberjacks. 'One fell on my mother and killed her stone dead'. J.G. Manchester

Astonishing, Amazing Aubergines! Our biggest exaggeration yet. Our truly amazing aubergines grow to sixty feet long by ten feet wide. One of our clients, ex-homeless Cypriot Artemis Christodopolous, is now living in one of our aubergines with his family of six after hollowing it out. Two thousand portions of moussaka were made from the resultant pulp, feeding his family of six for twelve months!