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Price - whatever you feel able to afford.

All proceeds go to Dead Aid. Since 1992 we have made it possible for over 2,000,000 people to become dead, thus providing much needed space for the rest of us on this crowded planet we live on.

Posh Spice's Lettuce Soup. Take two pints of boiling water, drop one lettuce leaf in it, leave for two seconds, take it out and discard. Leave in for three seconds if you really really want a strong taste of lettuce. Bring back to the boil, simmer for five minutes. Serves four, or me for a week.

Dawn French's Hot Pot. Meat. Doesn't matter what sort just so long as there's lots and lots of it.. Potatoes, Lots. Plus anything else you've got handy, carrots, onions, mushrooms, hamster,cats, dogs, kids. Cook it until you just simply can't wait any longer. Enough for one. Me.

Rolf Harris's Kangaroo Steaks. First, catch your Kangaroo. Then, once you've caught it, stop the bugger hopping. Next, slice a nice sized steak off its bum. Then kill it. Nope, got those last two bits the wrong way round - kill it, then slice a nice sized steak off its bum. Remember that folks or you'll never stop the bugger hopping. Then just sling it on the barbie for a few minutes and that's it. Bonzer!

Tony Blair's Humble Pie. Unfortunately Tone hasn't been able to come up with the ingredients for this yet. And quite frankly we don't think he ever will. Ed.

Paul Gascoigne's Gazza Bread. Take any bread recipe you can get, it doesn't matter, it'll still be canny, man. See the secret's how you knead the dough. To do it proper like, you have to clench your fist and give it a real good pounding. Pretend you're bashing your wife, that'll be about right. Then just bake as normal. Absolutely brilliant with twelve pints of lager. Or even better, bollocks to the bread, just have the lager!

Frank Bruno's Black Puddings. Take pigs blood, chopped fat and barley in equal proportions, mix them all together, form them into balls about as big as lemons, encase them in pigs intestines, then cook them until they are tender, about one hour, Harry. I do not know what they taste like because I have never had one. I tried to eat one once but it made me feel like I was a cannibal.

Ken Dodd's Upside Down Cake. Take two taxmen, crack their heads together…..sorry, I'll start again. Crack two eggs, two jokes and two funnybones, then stand on your head….no, not you missus, we don't want to frighten the neighbours…..mix the eggs with flour, water and sugar, say nick nacky nick nack nicky nacky noo, then bake for an hour in a hot oven. No, not you, you silly ha'porth, the cake! Delicious with a Vat inspector.

Bob Monkhouse's Smarmcake. Go into any cake shop and hold up a photo of me looking sincere. Then, when everyone in the shop have thrown their cakes at it, pick them up and eat them.

John Prescott's Barmy. This isn't a recipe, just an opinion.

Joanna Lumley's Finger Pie. Take four fish fingers, wrap them in pastry so that they make a pie, then bake it in the oven for an hour. Then throw the revolting concoction in the bin and heat up something rather nice from Marks and Spencers, which you won't feel guilty in the slightest about eating as you've done some cooking, haven't you.

Andrew Lloyd Webber's Tunes and Smarties Pudding. Borrow some Tunes (Pretend they're yours, nobody will know), mix together with some Smarties, add a dollop of ice-cream, serve. Lovely.

Trevor Brooking's G-less Pudding. When you're makin this puddin' use flour, butter, sugar and raisins in equal proportions then add somethin' excitin' to it, anythin' as long as it's not gravy bownin'.