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| All
airplanes used by uneasyJet have at least six inches less leg space
between the seats than all other airlines, for extra discomfort. By holding in
you stomach and clenching your buttocks you can just about squeeze yourself in.
However, eating your inflight meal off the drop down tray on the back of the
seat in front should not be a problem, so long as you are a victim of
thalidomide. It is advisable to remain in your seat for the entire flight. This shouldn't be a problem; a problem would be if you wanted to leave your seat as due to the cramped conditions your limbs lock up after a very short while. Apart from that there is is nothing to get up for as our airplanes don't have any lavatories. *
'Flying On A Wing And A Prayer', our inflight
magazine and pull out centre page sick bag, can be found in the compartment on
the back of Seat B Row 6. * All our stewardesses are guaranteed to be suffering from PMT. |
Any uneasyJet passenger wishing the person
seated next to them to suck mints noisily and keep sniffing throughout the
entire journey should make this clear when making the booking. Otherwise they
will get someone next to them who has a squawking baby and keeps farting every
few minutes. *
The exchange rate when buying our duty free goods in
euros is ten euros to the groat.*
The inflight entertainment includes ten audio
channels offering a diverse range of talk programmes and music to suit all
tastes, but whatever channel you tune in to you get James Blunt singing You Are
Beautiful. |
The inflight movie is Sister Act, both on the
outgoing and returning journeys, from now until 2020. If anyone shows signs of
enjoying this film they will be slapped, then forcibly restrained for the rest
of the flight and handed over to men in white coats upon landing. *
Only one item of hand luggage is allowed on board
unless you are a dusky- featured person, maybe wearing a turban, in which case
two items will be allowed, one of which can be highly suspicious-looking.
*
Regardless of their destination, all uneasyJet
flights fly over Iranian air space to take in the scenery, and touch down in
Afghanistan for refuelling.Bon voyage Geoff bin Laden Chief Executive, uneasyJet |