U.F.O. (Unidentified Flying Object)    Item of airline food.

Uhura    Long-legged black beauty whose existence allowed fathers and their five-year-old children to watch episodes of Star Trek with equal enjoyment.

Ullage    The space between the rest of Yorkshire and the East Coast after 'ull has been removed.

Unable Seaman   See Robert Maxwell.

uneasyJet    An even cheaper airlane than easyJet. The seats on all easyJet airplanes have six inches less legroom than those on other airlines, and the stewardessess suffer from permanent PMT.

Usher    An official at a wedding, not popular enough to be the Best Man and too thick to be a Groomsman. Often the bride's brother.

Ulysses    In Greek mythology one of the heroes of the Trojan War. After the fall of Troy he spent ten years trying to reach home, suggesting that he was much better at fighting than he was at map reading.

Universal Joint    A roll-up of marijuana smoked in turn by everyone present.