When you've been
driving have you ever noticed those 'Baby On Board' stickers in the rear window
of the car in front? What's all that about? I mean what are you supposed to do
about it? 'Oh look Susan, I see there's a Baby on Board sticker on the car in
front, I was about to plough into the back of it but now I know there's a baby
on board I'm going to take avoiding action.' It's possible I'm missing
something but I would have thought that anybody about to crash into the back of
another car would already have taken all the avoiding action they can if
they've got any sense, whether there's a Baby On Board sticker in the back
window or not. If anything they're more likely to cause an accident than they
are of preventing one.
"You're driving too close to that car in front, Janet."
"But it's got one
of those Baby on Board stickers in the back window,
Gerald."
"So?"
"Well I want to
see the baby."
"Want to see.....?"
CRASH!!!!
"I think that's it there, the one with the busted head and the
rattle."
No, if
you want my opinion Baby On Board stickers are less to do with the baby's
well-being and more to do with the mother's vanity. They're a sort of
announcement - the vehicular equivalent of an advert in the 'Births' column in
the local newspaper, the happy new mother letting everybody know that she's had
a baby - but that
right at this moment she isn't out with it proudly showing it to her friends,
pushing it around in one of those three-wheeler prams that babies have nowadays
- poor little buggers, I had a Silver Cross myself, a Marks and Spencers
second, royal blue with a light blue flash along the side, nothing was too good
for me - or maybe the baby was slung to her front in one of those baby hammock
thingies, like some tiny mountaineer scaling Mount Tits - no, instead of that
her new pride and joy is hidden away in a car where nobody can see it. So she
has to announce it to the world.......Baby on Board! I once saw a sticker in a
back window, obviously put there by a mother-to-be who couldn't wait any longer
to tell everybody about her good news, 'Foetus on Board'. Maybe it was a joke.
But maybe Baby on Board stickers are a joke too because they certainly make me
laugh. |
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