I overheard these
two Pakistanis in the chippy while they were waiting for a chip kebab. Well
it's an Anglo Pakistani chippy ours, you can get things like that, tandoori
fish bits is a favourite. Anyway one of them had a new girlfriend and they were
talking about her.
"What's she like?"
"She's got lovely eyes"
"What's the rest of her face
like?"
"I don't
know, she always has a yashmak on."
"Has she got nice
tits?"
"Who
knows?"
Sometimes
when Pakistanis have these arranged marriages the groom never even sets eyes on
the bride until the wedding day - but even if it's not an arranged marriage all
he gets to see is her eyes. He could ask her what she looks like I suppose,
but she could tell him anything, she's certainly not going to tell him she's as
ugly as sin is she. 'What do you look like?' 'Shite.' I don't think so. She
could tell him she looked like Catherine Zeta Jones with a body like Rachel
Hunter but she could look like Fred Elliott with a body like Keyhole Kate for all he
knows. Imagine the first night of the honeymoon. She removes her yashmak.
"I hope that
tattoo will come off."
"It's a birthmark."
"Birthmark?"
"My mother was frightened by a dog."
"She wasn't frightened love she was bloody
terrified, look at it!"
Then she takes all her clothes off.
"I thought you told me you had nice
legs?"
"What's
wrong with them?"
"What's wrong with them? You've only got one. The other one's
artificial."
"Well
you can't see it normally."
"I can see it now, can't I. I'm not too keen on that hump
either."
No, give
me an English girl anytime, she might not be perfect but at least you can see
what you're getting.
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