When God gave
women 'womens troubles' he more than made up for it by giving men the prostate
gland. What? You women
don't know you're born. I can just see him now when he was creating the world - 'Let's see
now, I've given women periods, hysterectomies, cellulite, labour pains,
post-natal depression, over-sized breasts, under-sized breasts, thrush, PMT,
VPL - so I shall need something very nasty indeed to lumber men with to make up
for that little lot...... I know I'll give them a prostate gland!' Women might
scoff but most men would gladly swap their prostate problem for a bout of
pre-menstrual tension any day of the week - or time of the month - and you can
throw in sore nipples, a session of post-natal depression and a couple of yards
of cellulite too if you want. You want to try standing there for half-an-hour
waiting for your pee to come to know what suffering is. And when it finally
does come there's only about half a thimbleful. If you're lucky.Then at the
very moment you've zipped yourself up a cupful arrives. Hot flushes? A man with
prostate problems would beg you for hot flushes. Ten times a night he has to
get up in the night to go to the toilet on average. But that's just the start
of his problems....
"Where are you going now?"
It's ten past midnight and you're in your
pyjamas, where does she think you're going, hiking?
"I said where are you going?"
"To the
toilet."
Then,
about half-an-hour later......
"Where are you going
again?
"To
the toilet."
"You've only just been."
"Tell that to my
bladder."
Then,
when you get back into bed.
"Where have you been?"
"To the toilet."
"That was over quarter of an hour ago.
What have you been doing for quarter of an hour?"
Well you've been waiting, haven't you.
Women don't understand that when you've got prostate trouble you can't just
switch it on and off whenever you feel like it, you've got to wait for it until
it's ready to come.
"And
why do you keep flushing the toilet?
"It helps me pee."
"Flushing the toilet helps you
pee?"
" Yes. When
you hear the running water it makes...."
"You must have flushed it a dozen times,
I'm just glad we're not metered that's all. And I don't know what they'll be
thinking next door."
"They'll be thinking I'm flushing the toilet."
"It's not funny, I'm not getting any
sleep, every time you get out of bed it wakes me up and by the time I manage to
get off again you're going again.
"Perhaps you should have me plumbed
in?.....where are you going?"
"To phone for a plumber?"
"Nooooooo!"
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