Why don't women
like showing VPL? (TURNS HIS HEAD ROUND, TRIES TO LOOK AT HIS BOTTOM) " I hope I'm not
showing any VPL." (TURNS BOTTOM TO AUDIENCE) "Can you see any VPL Fiona? I
don't want to be showing any VPL, I'd just die."
I don't know what they're so worried
about. Men don't mind them showing VPL. Most men think that VPL outlined on a
shapely bottom can be very sexy. What we don't like seeing is VSA. Visible
Sagging Arses. And VBA. Very Big Arses. Especially if they're showing VPL -
like two water melons in a string bag. But then nowadays a lot of women don't
show any VPL. They were so anxious not to show it they all started to wear
thongs, because if you wear a thong you can's see any VPL. I know, I've tried.
No, what you can see now, now that they've taken to wearing those little crop
tops and hipster trousers is VP - Visible Pants. Two or three inches of knicker
showing itself above their trousers. Balmy isn't it - they don't want you
seeing their panty line but they don't mind you seeing all their panties. Or
nearly all of them. But if you want to see the rest all you have to do is go to
a city centre any night of the week and wait until they come out of the pubs
pissed and start mooning. (MOONS TO AUDIENCE) What's all that about? Whatever
happened to female mystique? Leaving something to the imagination? The only
thing men can imagine nowadays is what VPL used to look like. |
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